How to Cope


Regardless of the reason for feeling as though there is something wrong with you, there are a number of things that you can do in order to reduce those feelings. Your choice of coping method will depend on the specific cause.





Sometimes, the thought that something is wrong with you can come on suddenly and provoke anxiety and negative emotions. In this case, the best first step is to do things that help you to calm down.  

To set this in motion, put together a list of “calm down activities” that you can reference whenever this happens. Below are some ideas of things that you can put on this list of calm down activities.

Then, remember to pull it out and start working through the list whenever you start to get down on yourself or feel as though you can’t calm down.

● 在任何一个自然的环境里散散步

● 把自己的感受写成日记

● 打给一个有支持性的家庭成员、朋友,或任何可以共情到你的人

● 写下“待办事项”(当你感觉到事情要把你淹没,不知从何做起的时候)

● 使用有正念冥想功能的app

● 吸入一些精油(例如,薰衣草精油)

● 做一些线上的瑜伽课或其他的放松练习

● 看喜欢的书(有时候轻松或有趣的阅读体验可以让你离开当下的感受)

● 看喜欢的电视节目或电影(更好选择一些平静或有趣的,或既平静又有趣的)

● Go for a walk somewhere in nature.

● Write in a journal about your feelings.

● Call a supportive family member, friend, or another empathetic person.

● Write down a “to-do” list (if feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start).

● Use a meditation app such as Headspace.

● Inhale some essential oil (e.g., lavender).

● Do an online yoga class or other relaxation class.

● Read a book (something light-hearted or intriguing to take your mind off your feelings).

● Watch a favorite television show or movie (preferably one that is calming or funny, or both).



Next, if your feelings are tied to specific problems in your life, you can make an action plan on what you will do about them. While it might feel easier to get stuck in a negative mindset, taking action on your problems will create more motivation to keep going when things get hard.


● 寻求专业心理健康人员的帮助

● 找一个更适配自己才能的工作

● 着手去增进你的人际关系(例如,家庭关系、友谊、亲密关系)

● 发展兴趣爱好或热诚所在(例如,玩一项运动、学习怎么织东西)

● 阅读自我帮助的书目,找自己感兴趣的话题

● 找到靠谱的伙伴帮助你前行

The actions that you plan to take will depend on your circumstances but could be any of the following:

● Seek help from a mental health professional.

● Find a better job or one that is better suited to your talents.

● Work to improve your relationships (e.g., family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships).

● Develop hobbies or passions (e.g., taking up a sport, learning how to knit).

● Read self-help books on topics that interest you.

● Finding an accountability partner to keep you moving forward.




Now that you’ve calmed yourself down and made an action plan to deal with the problems you are facing, it’s important going forward to monitor how you are feeling to stop a negative spiral before it gets out of control.

When you are more in tune with the feelings in your body, you’ll be better able to do things that improve your mood and outlook.


● 感觉到不堪重负,迷迷糊糊:把脑子里的东西倒出来,把这些都写出来在纸上,或者变成待办事项写出来

● 疲惫:每天在同一个时间睡觉和起床;保证你有充足的睡眠(既不太少也不太多)

● 焦躁不安:去散散步或做些体育锻炼(例如,高强度有氧运动、跑步机、瑜伽)

● 身体酸痛:认识到问题,去找解决(例如,看医生)

● 紧绷,难以放松:练习深呼吸,练习冥想,练习渐进式肌肉放松

Below are some feelings you might be having and some things that you can do about them.

● Overwhelm/brain fog: Do a brain dump and make a to-do list or plan of action to take everything out of your head and put it down on paper.

● Tired: Go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time each day; make sure you are getting enough sleep (not too little but also not too much).

● Restless/can’t sit still: Go for a walk or get some exercise (e.g., high-intensity interval training, treadmill walking, yoga).

● Pain/soreness: Pinpoint the problem and look for solutions (e.g., call your doctor).

● Tense/can’t relax: Practice deep breathing, practice meditation, use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).






Now that you’ve started to monitor your body, you’ll also want to monitor your mind. You can do this by scheduling a worry period each day, during which you write down everything that is worrying you the most.

Then, you can either make a plan of action on how to solve each problem or change the way you are thinking about the problem (if you feel as though you are blowing it out of proportion or creating a catastrophe out of nothing).

In order to plan a worry period, select a specific time each day that you will write down all your worries. Set a time limit for your worry period, and then don’t think about your worries the rest of the day.

During the worry period, make sure that you are not just focused on the problems. Make a list of worries, come up with solutions, or change your thinking about the problems.

  • 作者 | Arlin Cuncic

  • 翻译 | 王铭悦

  • 文章来源 | verywellmind

  • 插图 | Gary Bunt